Hurt

Tonight I took my wedding dress home. For the past few weeks, it has been staying at my matron of honor's house because she has never had pets in her house, and I figured it would be the safest place for it.

But tonight I got my feelings hurt. I left, ran a quick errand, and then I drove back to her house, walked in while everyone was still talking, took the dress out of the closet, and I came home.


One of the things that you should know is that I grew up in a household where we joke around. Not only do we joke around, but picking on the ones you love is a way of life. Everyone does it, and the friends that I grew up with do the same. You never get to let anything die down, jokes are told and retold and then explained to new comers so that they can also joke with you. I don't know how many jokes have about people ("I just think it's funny that I'm the only one ...") have come out of someone's mouth that wasn't even present for when the incident happened.

What's even funnier is hanging out with my parents and their friends (who are the parents of my friends now) is that they do the same. They tease and they kid and they play around, and then at the end of the night, everyone goes home with stories and jokes and something new to tease someone else the next time they see them.

So, this is what we all do.

But somehow lately I have gotten the label as the bitch. And even though we all sit around and joke, now I'm the bad guy, I'm the one that does it the most, I'm the one ... blah blah blah. And tonight, as we all sat around teasing each other like we normally do, suddenly I became the Bad Guy.

Bad enough to have a Facebook group in my honor - a support group of people that apparently I've made fun of.

Now ... did I take it too far in my anger by leaving? What do you do in that situation? And not only that, but for the past few weeks, I have been reminded on pretty much a daily basis that my friends think I'm kind of a bitch. I don't know how many times I've had to say, "then why are you friends with me again, if you think I'm so horrible?"

And then to make a group that points out even more that you think I'm horrible? I couldn't sit there.


And I cried the whole way home, because two of those people are supposed to stand next to me at my wedding, because I thought they loved me. I thought they supported me, and I thought they were there for me, and I think of these girls like sisters, and I would never intentionally hurt any of their feelings, but tonight they were clustered over a laptop making a facebook group about me (with an incredibly unflattering photograph), and I just felt it got taken too far.

I mean, they do it too. Where is their facebook group?

I think I am just being sensitive, but at this moment, I'm hurt. I'm hurt, and I feel like I'm in fucking high school that I'm hurt over a group on a stupid internet site that doesn't even matter.

And I don't even know why I took the dress home. To prove a point? I don't know. Right now it is hanging in the spare bedroom closet, and as soon as my grandmother gets home from her trip it's going to her house, but I don't even know why I grabbed it. I don't know why I went back, and I am sure after I went back everyone talked about how I am a drama queen, but ... I just didn't want my dress over there. You think I'm a bitch and you're going to make a fucking group about me, then you don't get to have my wedding dress.